so possible
September 27th, 2007 | 
Category:
For you to see that
maybe you and I could be.
Sometimes Most of the time, its hard for me to believe the things men (with a romantic interest) tell me.
Wait, let me back up for a moment.
Lately, I’ve been trying to embody this art my professor calls,
“Being Present to Being Present”.Its the process of eliminating past experiences and future expectations from your current thought, and being present to experience the here and now.
Its an unfiltered experience, that doesn’t take into account what happened before, and what you want to (or think will) happen next. Instead of dwelling on things that happened in the past (and can’t be changed), or things that have yet to happen (and may never take place), we should clear our minds and allow ourselves to fully experience what’s going on around us right NOW, at this moment.
As without filters, we are open to creativity and possibility that doesn’t usually exist when our thoughts are clouded by preconceived notions or beliefs.
I hope that made sense to somebody, because it makes alarming sense to me. Now, my professor was speaking from a consulting perspective, and was saying we should practice this skill in order to be better consultants. But I took it SO much further than he intended.
So instead of going into potential relationships with preconceived notions about what he’s probably gonna do, what he’s probably gonna say, and what he probably means when he says or does that……I try to have a clear and open mind, and just experience it as it is, with no filters. The possibilities are endless, when you don’t determine the ending before it happens. But to quote Big Pun……“it’s so hard.”
I wanna believe that he really likes me and is genuine when he says he wants to (at least) be friends, and I may even choose to believe him for now. But really, I’m still holding onto the thought that he could be full of it, he could just be saying this cuz it sounds good, he could mean it today but will he mean it tomorrow?
I realize that I don’t fully trust or believe men who show interest in me. They’ve been untrustworthy in the past; therefore, I expect them to be untrustworthy in the future.
What are the possibilities if I enter into potential relationships with NO expectations, NO fear, NO memory of the past, NO plans for the future, and just…………be?
I’m just wondering.
This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Ooohhhhh… I like what your professor said right there. Very nice! I agree with it to some degree. I think you should go into new situations with an open mind, but at the same time, if the person gives you any speck of a reason to believe otherwise then you gotta have that quick recall of the past so that you’ll know how to handle it from there.
Amazing how your professor was speaking about something completely different and it made perfect sense here. Love it.
There’s a fine line to walk in this respect, however.
When people fail to learn from their experiences, what are they? Fools, certainly.
We are humans and made to learn, recognize patterns, understand.
An MD couldn’t operate entirely in this manner, or else they’d never get anything done. Still, they need a sprinkle of “presentness” to recognize when symptoms call for a different diagnosis.
I will take this–but with a grain of salt.
Allow me to further this thought.
People can definitely learn from their past experiences, but has any life experience identically mimicked another?
We are moving stores of acquired knowledge and intelligence, but how we apply it is what’s being questioned. Do we do exactly what we did before? Or do we do what the present situation calls for? And how can we be sure what the present situation calls for, when we’ve already labeled it a thing of the past? (or have undeserved expectations for the future)
~B. Good
I think the possibilities are endless. And I believe that this excitement is what makes us at least want to TRY. However, once we get into it and familiar things show themselves, it’s hard (if not impossible) to recount what happened “last time,” esp when it’s happened close to “every” time. It’s sad.
I like the idea though.
I also love what your professor said. I think I operate like that…half way lol. I can forget about the past, but I have trouble with having no expectations of the future because I’m impatient and I always wanna know the outcome.
If you learn from a mistake, you learn from a mistake. You can’t unlearn it. You become smarter and wiser. Taking a broad stroke approach and ignoring past lessons is a tantamount to touching fire thinking it won’t be hot like it was the first time you ever touched it. It’s not the past event itself you call on when a new situation arises, but what you learned from the situation devoid of bias, at least that’s how it should be.
For instance if the guys you’ve dated in the past have always given you the “I’m not looking for a relationship right now” spiel and the guy you are currently interested in is saying the same thing, yet you KNOW you want a relationship what do you do? Keep seeing him anyway with no expectation that things will change? I guess that’s one approach, but if you’re smart, what you’ve learned in the past is that you have to always be honest with the guy and most importantly yourself about what you want. Otherwise you won’t be happy. So you tell the new guy, thanks but no thanks not because you think he’s like the rest of them, but because you know that this isn’t the kind of situation you want to be in.