abandoned, desolate, forlorn;

broken, damaged, destroyed, harmed, hurt, impaired, injured, ruined, wrecked;

disregard, forget, ignore,
overlook, pass over, slight;

fail;

miss, omit;

brush aside, brush off, reject, shrug off;

disdain, scorn;

Just after I made my last post, I packed my bags and headed to California for what was supposed to be an 8 day visit, but turned into 10 days due to the weather in New York. Cool wit me! So glad I missed that storm, and in turn got to spend more time with my mom.

I could go on and on about my mom, our relationship, how it’s evolved over time, and how I treasure it now more than ever. She was SO happy that we had 2 more days together, it made me wanna cry. I know she misses me, but I didn’t know it was THAT bad. I miss you too Mommy! Especially considering……

 
……especially considering the fact that the (so-called) friends and loved ones that made up my inner circle are dropping like flies. In my last post, I stated that “with so many changes on the horizon, I wonder what things are gonna look like in 3 months”. Well, it took less than 3 days for things to completely turn inside out.

 
I learned of the ultimate betrayal that occurred between two people whom I’ve known for a long time and held in high regard, only to find out that they had no regard for me whatsoever. That hurt. Bad. Definitely the worst pain I’ve ever dealt with. And to top it off, I had to save face until I left L.A. and went to Northern California to visit my family.

 
Since I left Southern Cal, I’ve been pushing everyone away from me. Whether they know it or not, I’m not as secure in my friendships as I once was.

 
And while I was completely caught off-guard with the situation, at the same time……I’m not totally surprised. The way things have been going since the end of 2007, its been the purging of one bad apple after another. I now see that ridding myself of the other rotten fruit was in preparation for this unforeseen contamination in the ranks. It could’ve been worse. Yeah, a LOT worse. Luckily for them, I’d already built up a tougher barrier around myself and discarded most of my faith in people.

 
**************************************************************************************
 

I got back to NY 5 days ago, and I’ve spent that time moving on with things that actually matter in my life. Turns out, I didn’t have much of a choice, cuz when I went back to work on Tuesday, I found out that 32 of my co-workers had been laid off the day before.

whaaa?

Yeah, you read me right. That took me aback. And for whatever reason, my name wasn’t on the list. Why not? Yall know all I do is blog from work……what have I really contributed? Whatever it was, I guess it was either enough for them or they saw potential for me.

 
In addition to that, the job I interviewed for in a different department has been offered to me - with a pay raise. YEAH!! Awwwweeeeesooommme.

I took a couple days to think about it, and hear what our CIO had to say about the recent lay offs and the future of my current department. Now that I’ve heard it all, I’ve decided to take the new position and keep truckin.

 

So ya see, in 14 days my world has topsy-turvied; but at the end of the day, it was all in my best interest. Blessings all around. And thankfully, I don’t have the time or mental space to speculate or contemplate the deception, who dun what, and why. That shit was SO 2 weeks ago, and is SO 3000 miles away. They can deal with that mess, I got better things to do!

 

Peace.

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.

P.S. Bloggie, my bad for doing to you what they done to me.

My birthday is 3 months away. My mom is talking about coming to visit……I hope she does. Last year my birthday was TOTALLY overshadowed by Mother’s Day (blah), so I didn’t get much shine. But eh, its the same every year.

 
With so many changes on the horizon, I wonder what things are gonna look like in 3 months. I wonder what I’ll look like in 3 months (as I attempt to reach my next goal weight). I wonder who and what I’ll be surrounded by when the day comes.

Speechless at the moment, guys.
So I’ll leave you with this…

“You mean all this time the only thing standing between hangin’ up there and livin’ it up down here were……those crows?”

 
“They told you you couldn’t do it, and you believed ‘em.”

 
“If I only had a brain. I woulda figured that out a long time ago.”

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.

you have a brain. don’t wait too long to use it.