ShesOpinionated.com

“If ya don’t have anything nice to say,
then don’t say anything at all.”

Do yall believe in that?

 

Words are pretty powerful; more than a lot of us know. And once they’re out there…its damn near impossible to take ‘em back.

 
If I don’t have anything, and I mean ANYTHING, nice (or constructive) to say, I do try to keep it in house (believe it or not).

 
Too often my silence is mistaken as unkindness. And though it may seem unkind to give someone the silent treatment, a verbal attack seems to be more……impolite, if you will.

 
I guess neither of them are the biz, but which would you prefer?

silence vs. violence

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Ok maybe not “violence”, but ya know… Unpleasantries.

 
My Nana is a fan of just being pleasant, regardless. I don’t know how long she’s been telling me that. I used to buy into it, but sometimes……silence is the best I can do.

 
And even then, I still flub now and again.

 
My bad. *sigh*

 

 

 

6 comments

Yall, please excuse me for a sec…

 

B. Good knows what you were expecting.
She had some expectations of her own.
None of yall got what you expected.
Ain’t. that. fun-ny.
(get off the blog)

Mmmkay……so, I’m all for being honest about what you want out of a situation. Time and time again I’ve said that I want a guy to be real about what he wants from me.

 
But my question is…why can’t he be real about what I want (or don’t want) from him?

 
I met this guy last week, and he called me a few days later. First conversation, he’s talkin’ about coming over to snuggle.

 

Huh??

I don’t know you, man! Besides, I’d already told him I didn’t have a man, and wasn’t lookin for a “man” in ANY shape, form, or fashion (that includes cut buddies and “snuggle” buddies). Friends is the most I’m willing to consider. He tells me…

 
“I know, and I’m not tryna be your man. But everyone needs SOMEone, that one person they have to snuggle with now and then.”

 

***cue 112, lol***

Eh, not me. He continues with…

 
“Basically…I find you very attractive and eventually, imma wanna f*ck you.”

 
Well alllllllllrighty then! Can’t say that I blame him. If I were him, I’d wanna f*ck me too.

 
I appreciated his honesty (however crass), so I responded with some honesty of my own……AIN’T GON HAPPEN! Thats just not what I want from you, dude.

 
Now, let’s recap. He’s telling me he wants to bone. I’m telling him I don’t. Clearly we are in opposition here. Why was he still pressing the issue???

 
“Oh, I mean, we can take it slow. What, you need 2 or 3 months?”

 

Huh??

Now I’m on a timetable?? LOL. So if I don’t wanna bone, does that mean we can’t be friends? *snicker*

 
I reckon that’s what you call perseverance. He probably figured he coulda swooned me and I woulda gave in…eventually, right?

Hehe, guess I can’t knock a guy for trying.

 
People are fun-ny!  

 

 

I’m taking a different stance these days. There IS no benefit of the doubt. There’s no chance that this guy would ever “settle” for a platonic friendship, at least, not with me. Hopefully he too realized our conflicting interests, and won’t call again (cuz I surely won’t be answering).

 

 
The joy of being REAL…upfront.
The beauty of accepting the REAL…no fronts.

 

 

 

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.

There’s a person in my life that I can’t shake for shit.

He can’t shake me either.

 
I’ve stopped trying because clearly there’s something greater than the both of us keeping it together.

 
Its so funny, because I don’t know how many times I’ve cut him off and vice versa. Days (even weeks) later, we let the situation breathe and its back to business as usual. Its the craziest case of forgive and forget that I’ve ever been apart of.

 
Back when I was dating, he was one of the few interests that I encountered. It was a rollercoster ride that took me way too long to get off of; but…I finally did (just as someone else was gettin on, but thats neither here nor there).

Since then, I’ve gone through a series of necessary changes, modifications, and upgrades. Part of that was falling back from dating altogether. I determined that I’m no good as the “lover”; I’m better as the friend. I also learned that you can really think you know someone or something, and have no clue whatsoever. So now, I don’t take things as seriously as I used to. I’m not as attached to people and things as I used to be.

 
I had a post about being affected……yeah this guy is one of the men I referenced in said post. The other guy in that post…is also mentioned in this more recent post. Both situations with these men have taken me through some things, and you know what?……I’m not trippin’ offa either one of them. I give that glory to God. Thanks to Him, I ain’t sweatin’ the small stuff anymore. I feel SO free.

 
And its this freedom that has allowed me to maintain a friendship, well –a platonic relationship– with this guy who I once had a thing for……a thing that just won’t go away, but instead has manifested into something less severe and more…acquiescent.

This thing was tested recently, as he tried to blur the line I created between friend and lover. He was stopped dead in his tracks, and then left the scene abruptly. It was kinda rough. I didn’t want him to feel “rejected”, because I love hanging out with him……but I wanted to keep the integrity of our newfound friendship (and his newfound relationship–even if he didn’t want that for himself…I don’t need crazy gf’s callin me… again).

 
So I reached out to him the following day, in an effort to let him know it was still all good. But I wasn’t gonna budge on my stance regarding our friendship being just a friendship, without the extras. He responded…briefly, but I still wasn’t sure about the climate. I didn’t push it any further, and let it be. If he couldn’t deal with not having the extras, then it was best he stay at a distance.
 

See, old B. Good (that nut)……she woulda pined and pined over whether she did the right thing, were they still cool, what was he thinking, was that the end of it all?

Present day B. Good……wasn’t concerned. She represented herself accurately, albeit it caught him off guard. She tried to make contact to ensure the relationship was still intact, but if it wasn’t, there wasn’t anything more she could (or was willing to) do.

 
Later in the day, he hit me up to apologize for the night before. He hoped he hadn’t offended me, and he wanted us to still be cool.

I was pretty proud, if you will, when he said this. Cuz I didn’t know if he got it. I didn’t know if he understood that although I didn’t want him to hold me throughout the night, I did want him around. And even if he did understand that, I didn’t know if he would accept it.

 
I responded with an apology of my own, as I hoped I hadn’t offended him either. I let him know that I really enjoyed hanging together, and the next time we do get together, he should choose someplace other than the pool hall, cuz I’ll beat him again.

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Das right, I’m rollin’ SO-LO.

A quick shout out to the solo’s! I feels yall. I really do.

 
Yeah, I’ve been going out lately by myself and wit myself. The shock & awe on peoples faces when they discover that I’m not with anybody or meeting anybody is……it’s getting to be a goal and a secret joy of mine.     I almost feel empowered in the moment.

 
I will say that on any given night, it can go either way. I might have a great time, or I might be bored and leave within the hour (though I usually try to stay for at least an hour to give things a chance to pick up). But more often than not, I end up making more moves when I go somewhere alone than I do when I’m attached at the hip to someone.

Makes sense, right? I figure people pity me, and reach out to me more, lol. Or maybe they admire my bravado and want to award and applaud.

So now I’m gettin’ used to just going at it alone, I’m more comfortable exploring by myself, and I’m fearless when presented with the opportunity.

 

what’s the deal with yall?

Do you roll solo? Would you roll solo? Have you ever tried? If not, what’s keeping you from doing so?

 
Is it different when a man rolls alone, versus when a woman does it?

 
When you’ve gone out, have you encountered
people who were out by themselves?
What did you think of them?

As with anything, you should always take safety precautions. Let someone know when and where you’re going; update them throughout the night if you can (when you get there, when you’re leaving, when you get home).

But its not so bad, and if there’s something you want to do and there’s no one around to do it with you……don’t be afraid to go at it alone (well, depending on what it is, I guess). But if its as simple as checking out a new lounge or a new gallery opening or something……JUST GO! Its been a great experience for me, so far.

(just make sure you get there early so you can get a seat or a good spot at the bar - standing around alone is kinda awkward, lol, especially without a drank in your hand!)

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.

So whats up in the love dept? You know I gotta ask.

i’m in a relationship now

you’re a relationship guy

you think

you’re always in one

not really, I just dont date too many women at once

narrowing it down, thats cool

its almost that time for me

awwwww. not me!

well who ever gets you will be happy. you’re a good catch

why thank you, thats a nice thing to say

just being honest. i would have totally went for you, educated sis with your stuff together

its always the unavailable men who say that

 

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Lies. ^He^ had his chance and squandered it like so many others. I don’t even think he realized what he typed.

 
Why do they say things like that? These declarations of admiration that hold no weight or value.

 
Anyways……there you have it. Good catch, easy to let go.
Catch and release. Sport and amusement.

 

 

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.