And another one, And another one……
June 06th, 2008 | 
Category: ***Oops! Forgot to turn on the comments. If you have one, feel free to add it!***
……another one bites the dust.
So I just found out that this guy I had a SUPER duper crush on is married.
***cue Jill Scott***
I think I’m ok with it. I mean, we were never more than friends, and we’ve lived on opposite sides of the country since we’ve known each other. But wow. Nothing like marriage to seal the deal on that “what if” question.
Hey Abi…
…didn’t you JUST write a post on this??? Life is surely imitating art.
So I wished him well…and I definitely meant it. I can’t say that I feel like I’m losing a friend, because there’s always been distance between us. But I’m wondering what he did between the time we met until now that was SO different then what I did, as I’m in the same place (romantically) that I was when I met him; and now he’s off in wedded bliss.
My love life is SO juvenile. I’ve never had a boyfriend. Nope, not ever, never. I’ve just been casually fucking/dating…whatever you wanna call it…since I was 18. I’m 26 now. The hell am I doing?
Not that its been a miserable 8 years or anything. I’ve definitely had some good times and great experiences. But this whole “meeting new people” and “adjusting to a new person” thing is OLD. And anyone who knows me knows that I don’t do the whole “meeting new people” and “adjusting to a new person” thing too well. I’d rather just be alone (but I guess not really, hence the reason for this post). I’m just sayin’, can I be happily entertained by one person already, so I don’t have to keep going out there and feeling my way around in the dark?
I always said that my first boyfriend will probably be my last. I’ve never been big on having a man for the sake of having one (clearly). It’s not that I couldn’t have had a boyfriend…I just never felt anyone was worth the title. Why I felt they were worth my sweat and body…I don’t know. Just dumb, I guess. Or maybe “uninformed” is a better word.
And I still don’t want a man just so I can say I have one (or have had one). But damn, I haven’t met ONE person that even came close. Well, maybe almost one, but it still wasn’t (isn’t) quite right.
Blah, I’m just retarded. As in
And I can’t tell you why. It just seems like everyone is advancing except me.
I just told someone yesterday that I didn’t wanna get married. And I don’t, unless I finally decide that I do wanna have kids……yeah, fat chance of THAT happening. I don’t know if I’m the marrying kind. I don’t even know if I’m the long-term dating kind, so marriage is WAAAAYYYY off my radar.
I guess you never know, until you know.
Anyways, Congrats D-dub. I hope its all you dreamed of and more.
lol at the disabling of comments.
Yes in fact, I think I posted on the subject hmm…yesterday! We have got to stop living the same life in different cities!
I feel the same way about my love life. I’ve had two boyfriends in recent times (meaning since college began 8 years ago and during which time there was actually a label on what was happening) and neither lasted more than 6 months. In fact, the one that was good (he got married earlier this year) was 3 months during study abroad (and i’m trying to recapture is, but there is something about being in another country that makes things different). Have sure had longterm f-buddies though.
I’m so off topic. The point is, you aren’t alone. many of us haven’t had proper relationships. i tell grown folks all the time; things ain’t what they used to be. We have come to accept casual sex and relationships as natural and become disenchanted with the prospects of something long term because we are too good to just settle for anything. ah…there in lies the dilemma and our inability to progress. something’s gotta give…once i find out, will certainly pass it on!
“And I can’t tell you why. It just seems like everyone is advancing except me.”
Maybe you are the who is advancing by waiting for what you truly want.
You crawled up inside my brain and just made yourself at home! lol Can’t add a thing. I’m right >< with you!
Tex, that is what we try to tell ourselves everyday.
It’s hard to rationalize what your eyes see and what your heart feels, but the honest truth is, lots of people are struggling in relationships, and our blessing is that without one, we automatically aren’t privy to the BS struggle. Still it seems that it would be nice to have someone and be with someone and blah blah blah. Been there. And honestly, I’m happier as an INDIVIDUAL being single, because I’m forced to deal with ME. Hopefully this time alone is preparing me for the real deal once it’s upon me.