Yo, there will be two new roommates joining this season of MTV’s “The Real World”.

And they’re both Black.

Yup, you read me right.

 
That makes 4 black people in the house (out of 7), and 5 on the show if you count one of the original roommates who got kicked off.

What’s goin’ on over at MTV?

 
Its almost like Dave Chappelle’s skit come true! LOL. The new dynamic in the house is gonna be very interesting to watch.

 
This is so my favorite season already!

 
I’m not big on these fancy/fine/contemporary restaurants. For one, they don’t give you enough food. At least, not the oversized American portions that I’m used to, lol. (ok, I guess thats a problem)

But really, those places are not meant for you to eat and be merry. They’re meant for you to floss and spend money. Damn all that. I’m tryna get a grub on; especially if I’m spending all kinds of money to do so.

 
I went out with this dude last week, and he took me to his boy’s restaurant in the city. When the food came out, I felt like I was on an episode of Top Chef - with the square plates, the neatly arranged food, and all the extra white space surrounding that food. That stuff is cute on TV, but sittin on the plate in front of me……I was NOT impressed. Where’s the food at?

 
His boy (the chef) delivered each of us a plate of prawns (4), some banana slices (I guess those were plantains), and this dry ass salad (2 pieces of lettuce and a cherry tomato) with NO dressing. WTF? And I left the house HOONGRY, cuz I was told that food would be on the agenda. Matter of fact, I TOLD dude I was hungry, and that if food wasn’t on the agenda, we need not even roll out. And here we are with this lil bullshit on a plate (I cussed his ass out REAL good in my head). I mean, the food was good, but it was NOT hittin the spot. I was already planning the sandwich I was gonna get from the deli when I got home.

 
Then my date asks me if I want an entree (oh thank GOD that was just the appetizer! Yes, yes, HELL YES I want an entree). See, we didn’t even get menus when we sat down; his boy just brought something out to us. I thought that was it for the night. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt.

So dude tells the chef what we want, and then we wait……and wait……and wait. Da hell is taking so long??? These people don’t seem to understand. This is not one of those “eat and look cute” nights, where you pick at your food and give the impression that you don’t throw down at the dinner table. Naw, this is a “eat to get full” night. I’m HOONGRY dammit! (how many times have I said that already?)

 
The chef had forgotten about our order, so we had to kindly remind him to hurry the fuck up!

 
Finally our plates come out. I almost sent the waiter away because the plates looked exactly like the appetizer plates we had earlier. I just knew he had the wrong table. Why the entree look just like the appetizer?? Awww HELL naw.

 
At least the salad had a lil dressing on it this time. And the food was aight, but I just couldn’t get into it. I didn’t feel like I was really eating. I felt like I was snacking. And if that is “fine dining”, yall can have it.

As long as the food tastes great and satisfies me, I’m cool with wherever we go to eat. We don’t have to dine at the newest, trendiest, priciest spot on the block. I don’t particularly care about whether quality ingredients were used, or how delicate they were with the dish. If I don’t leave FULL and FILLED, you can keep that.

But I guess its all about appearances these days. *shrugs*

 
Cheers to the 3 glasses of wine (which I rationed throughout the night) that saved the day. I never saw the bill, so I don’t know how much dude spent. But I’m sure it was a nice chunk of change spent on a couple of appetizers. While I don’t mind supporting a friend’s business and appreciate the effort to experience something different, now I know not to go out on a date hungry, or at least, not to let him pick the restaurant.

 
The other day I picked a Japanese restaurant for a (different) date and I to try……that place was hittin on all cylinders. We both left more round then when we walked in, and it didn’t break his pockets. Now that’s what I call a good meal!

 
A note about drinking water:

Sometimes you have to force it.

 
I’m serious. Sometimes I just look at my water bottle, grab it, and chug. Just guzzle down about half of it to get that part out the way. Doesn’t take long, and now I’ve already consumed half of my necessary water intake.

 
And sometimes you gotta drink for no reason. Doesn’t matter if you’re not thirsty…or if you’re full. Just drink. Chug if you have to!

 
I’m sure everyone knows about Crystal Light’s genius invention: Crystal Light “On The Go”. I also use those when I’m feenin’ for something tasty, but don’t want to eat more points.

A sad, but helpful trick:

Think about that guy/gal who done you wrong and is gonna be sorry when they see you flossin’ in the new body. Yeah yeah yeah, I know we’re all losing weight for ourselves. But whatever resources you can use to get there, I say use ‘em! I also think about the fact that everyone thinks I’m older than my years, and I only seem to attract 40+ year old men or heavy set men. I’m ready to start catching from FRESH meat, dammit.

 
And I’m ready for all my clothes to look great on me, no matter what. Potato sack, table cloth, ironing board cover, curtains! They’ll all look fabulous on me. Shopping will be so much easier……actually, for an indecisive wreck like me, opening up the clothing options will probably make things worse. Eh well, I’m up for the challenge!

Results–

 
This week I gained: 3 lbs
Recent running total: 3 lbs
From my highest weight I’ve lost: 44 lbs

 
Sonofabitch!!

 
I’d love to say “I don’t know what happened”, but I’m well aware that I went over my points more than once during the last week. I tried to ignore it, but the scale sure didn’t.

 
DAMN, Damn, damn.

Lesson learned.

No bullshittin this week.

 
Eck, I’m irritated with my co-worker. She’s one of those people who always volunteers their opinion on everything you say or do, whether you asked for it or not. And I mean, everything.

Today, I walked up to her and another co-worker (I actually wanted to ask the other co-worker about a work related issue). They asked me if I’d eaten lunch yet. I told ‘em no. They asked what I was having? I said a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This heffa wants to make a face at me. “Thats only something I’ll eat when I’m really really hungry, cuz then everything tastes good. But I won’t eat it just because.”

 
Well woo-fuckin’-hoo for you. Its a good thing your ass isn’t eating it for lunch today, ain’t it? Nobody asked you for all that commentary.

 
Thats why I don’t talk to her. She ALWAYS got somethin’ to say. And once I snap on somebody……its no longer a friendly matter. I’m tryna maintain peace and prosperity in the workplace, but to quote Maxine Shaw, Attorney-at-Law……she’s tap dancing on my last nerve.

 
“Hey B, I wanted to know if……oh……thats a neat shirt. But I’d never wear something like that because I don’t like the way it (insert some bullshit ass reason).”

 
Bitch, I don’t care! Why do you feel the need to comment on my shirt that you wouldn’t wear and aren’t wearing??? Mind your own cot jamn business!!

 
And she’s not bright. I think that irritates me more than anything. I’ve been in this position 2 months……she’s been doing this almost 2 years……why do I know more about the process than she does? Why do I have to ask the girl that’s only been here 1 year for answers to questions that homegirl can’t give me straight answers to???

Grrr……

 
I started watching this show called “Locked Up Abroad“. It comes on the National Geographic channel (what? I like that channel).

Its about these everyday people who get locked up for trying to smuggle illegal drugs out of a foreign country. The drug dealers usually seek out white (English) people who look like tourists, because they figure that the local authorities won’t give them a second look as they leave Chili, Thailand, Costa Rica, etc. with these bags of dope.

These people are promised thousands of dollars and a dream vacation to an exotic place with all expenses paid, in exchange for carrying drugs in their luggage or on their bodies.

At first, I guess the “easy” money and the vaycay sounds like a great trade-off, especially if you have no money or are looking for a free getaway. However, after the naive marks get to the dream vacation, they are greeted with the grim face of reality……the villainous drug smugglers who mean business. Suddenly, the “tourists” get this gut-wrenching feeling that maybe they shouldn’t do this (uh, ya think?) and they wanna back out of the deal. Problem is, by then its too late because they’ve already accepted the terms of the agreement, and these scary drug lords are threatening their lives if they don’t follow through. For extra insurance, the druggies usually take their passports as collateral so they can’t exactly up and leave.

Needless to say, things go bad, and these people end up in jail. No, not the 4-star resorts we have here in America; but REAL jails, where rights and humanity don’t exist behind the walls. Lawyer? Ha! You wanna make a phone call? Please. Your ass is just STUCK. For 10+ yrs. Miles away from home and your sanity. All because of some silly bullshit ass “dream vacation”, and a couple a dollas.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

 
This is part of the reason I’m weary of traveling outside of the U.S. Not that I plan on doing anything illegal, but not knowing the laws of the foreign country……I don’t wanna mess around and do something they deem unlawful (like spitting out a piece of gum), and get sentenced to 5 years in hell behind it. Fuck that!

 
But my question is……

did they REALLY think they’d get away with it???

 
I mean, I guess they did (at some point). But WOW, that’s a helluva gamble.