…ummm, damn, that’s all I got, lol. Yall don’t have as many names as Detroit.

OH, speaking of Detroit–

 

So, I totally forgot to include Raheem Devaughn and Dr. Ian Smith in my highlights for Detroit. Oops! You can view them now if you click the link.

 

Anyways……I was asked to go to Houston for a work assignment. It sounded like a great opportunity, so I jumped at the chance. Ended up being a headache - my manager gave me half-ass information and left me hangin’. Being the strong, capable person that I am, I managed to pull it altogether and deliver in a major way. Yay me.

 
But the person who REALLY delivered and saved my trip was Tex in the City. She was the ULTIMATE host, and gave me the best Houston experience one could ask for. Let me tell yall, if you wanna know about Houston…where ta go, what to do…Tex knows it ALL! We had some great food and some great times, and she is the main reason I’m going back. Tex is a sweetheart, and just a wonderful person to be around. She’s got the biggest heart!! (sometimes I think she’s just too good for me) Sorry, had a Sade moment, lol. But Tex is like my sister from another mother, and I can’t wait to visit again! There’s so much more fun to be had!

I think the most memorable ummm memory was going to the Saltgrass Steakhouse to eat dinner. Chile……when Tex mentioned that we were going to “Saltgrass”, I just knew she was taking me to some green, healthy, foliage-friendly place that serves wheatgrass appetizers, and sprout salad entrees. I’m thinkin, “I know I’m a vegetarian and all, but I don’t eat that shit. PLEASE don’t take me there!” Is it wrong that I was thrilled when I saw it was a Steakhouse? LOL

We were served by an adorable waiter (what was he, 22?) who was originally from Brooklyn, and was steadily gettin’ his flirt on wit ya girl. Tee hee.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I decided to let my eyes wander around the restaurant, as I hadn’t seen more than the waiter, and I looked up from the table to see a giant buffalo head looking down upon me as I ate my bread.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have Mercy.

Scared the shit outta me.

 
Then I turned around, and saw an equally large Longhorn watching over myself and Tex. I’d later learn that everything is large in Texas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Tex would say……

Welcome to Texas!

 

 

Ok, so let me tell you why I can’t live in Houston.

 

1. THE HEAT! Oh my goodness, it was SO DAMN HOT! I mean, it gets hot and humid in NY, but the heat in Houston was different. That mess was straight off the sun. Just blazin!

   And then to counteract the heat, every building and car has their A/C on FULL blast. So in a matter of seconds you go from 100 degrees, to 50 degrees. Damn, can I get 72? Do I hear 72??? I’m still a tropical person, ya know.

    
   Ok, this next one is two-fold. Its a gift and a curse.

2. The FOOD. OMG, there were SO many restaurants, drive-thru’s, and take-outs in Houston…and they weren’t all chains and commercial franchises. Lots of local cuisines to take part of as well. I mean LOTS! Just lined up and down the streets. Everywhere you turn. Yall don’t understand, there was an unlimited supply of edibles throughout the city. No one should be hungry in Houston. NO ONE!

   And the portions…THE PORTIONS!

   Let me tell yall, I like food, ok. I love to eat. I couldn’t tell you the last time I took a doggie bag home from a restaurant. I did it twice in 2 days while visiting Houston. I mean, they pile it ON!

    
   So, yeah, while I love food and love eating, I couldn’t live in Houston, because I’d be a straight heifer! Dear God.

    

3. The strip malls! Strip malls with eateries galore. Geez, I’ve never seen so many. Seriously! Shops, upon shops, upon shops, upon shops. And good ones too! Just readily available for all to enjoy. Too many opportunities to spend my money. How can one resist such temptation??

    

4. Man, Houston is so spread out! I think I’ve been in NYC too long. Everything is so close together here, I wasn’t used to all the traveling we had to do. Hmmm, I wonder if I could re-adjust to living in the Greater L.A. area? But at least the gas is cheaper in Houston - I saw it as low as $3.69!! Heavens!

    
   And the last reason I couldn’t live in Houston (besides it not being on a coast)…

5. It was brought to my attention that there are NO 7-Elevens in Houston. NONE!

   (I feel like singing a verse from An American Tail - “cuz there are noooo cats in America…”)

   *ahem*

   Anyway, the closest one is in Austin. I gotta drive to Austin for a slurpee? Yeah, not gonna work for me.

 

 

So all in all……Houston was cool (not literally), with some cool inhabitants. I see why people dig it. But erra ummm……

 

 

 

How yall expect me to beat the heat with NO SLURPEES???