Women In Need (?)
August 28th, 2008 | 
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There’s a homeless woman who stays outside the Rite-Aid (pharmacy) in my neighborhood. She’s always sitting out front, very quiet, very peaceful, reading a book, reading the paper, or taking in her surroundings. If you speak to her, she’ll speak back. But she never asks for change, she never asks for help. She just does what she does.
Is she a woman in need? She appears to be, yet she seems content.
The kind of person you want to help, even though they never ask.
And Then……
There’s the lady down the street, posted in front of the Washington Mutual (bank), who doesn’t speak the English, with a beg and a plead written on a piece of cardboard, with a picture of her son and daughter on the back, laminated, asking for money to help feed her kids.
When you kindly tell her “No, I’m sorry, I don’t have anything to give you”, she prods you further as if she’s sure you’re lying. When your answer is still “No”, she sucks her teeth and shakes her head, so as to shame you for not giving up the dough; thus sending you on an all-expense paid trip to guiltville.
Lady, just because I’m standing in front of a bank doesn’t mean I have money. Matter of fact, I’m waiting on someone to come out so they can give ME some money. Shiiiiiiiit.
The kind of person you’re almost glad you didn’t help, simply because they think they’re entitled.
I don’t know either woman’s story - these are just my observations. But more than that, I observed my own approach to each woman’s situation.
Eager to do for the one who’s doing for herself. In her I see a reflection of myself. Who I might be if I were in her shoes.
Who I am, in my own shoes. A woman in need……but who is content within herself.
I’ll give beggars food…no cash. Beggars up here either have more money than you, or they smoke rocks.
great observations. it is true that approach is everything. i do wonder sometimes though whether we are more eager to help those like ourselves or those who are very different (cause then we wouldn’t have to deal with the problems we have ourselves)…
there’s a guy at an intersection around here. He never asks, just tips his cap and takes what you offer. Then he says “God bless you” or “have a nice day”. I think he basically performs a service–like allows you to give to charity without having to send off a check.
As for that lady who is in pursuit of you–she’s a lazy con artist. Instead of trying to con you out of your money with a clever scheme, she’s just guilting you. There’s another one around here. My coworker saw her walking around in her neighborhood all cleaned up. She’s not homeless–unless crashing on a family member’s couch is homeless.
There were two women like this in New Haven when I was an undergrad. One was always clean, she was FAT, hair always braided, she had sneakers, coats and shoes, sometimes you saw her in the supermarket (although she had enough sense not to make large purchases), and after 7 p.m., you never saw her out on the street. Over the years her lines changed from “flower for 1 dollar? it’s for the homeless.” to “flower for 1 dollar? so I can eat.” So clearly she had somewhere to go, and after a semester most people figured out she didn’t need any money.
The other woman was tall, emaciated, dirty, her hair was ragged, eyes were big. She bullied you into giving her money but she was crazy. Apparently she’d been a grad student at the drama school, and she’d played a slave who got raped and never recovered from the role. A classmate recognized her, years later, after a student wrote about her in a newspaper article, filmed a documentary about her, got her some money, and eventually you didn’t see her on the streets as much either. I think the city started sending a nurse to give her medication.