What’s a girl to do???

 
Since getting back from my traveling time A-WAAAAYYY from the job, I haven’t been able to get back into the swing of things. I think I enjoyed the idea of traveling, visiting other offices, and not sitting at a desk all day SO MUCH……that I hate coming back to my ball and chain.

I mean, I just CAN’T get with it.

I’ve been bullshittin all week. And its not like there isn’t stuff for me to do. I got projects (if I can even call ‘em that) awaiting my attention, and I’m just not feelin’ it. At all.

 
My director just told me today how tired I look (more like how BORED I look). I think I’m still crashing from all the adrenaline built up while touring the country, and not sitting in this office. And now that I’m back, I have no interest in contributing to the mundane, daily activity I was formerly doing.

*sigh*

Woe is me. I have a meeting in a couple weeks with my director and my manager about what I’m doing, what I like, what I dislike, and what I want to be doing. I’m collecting my thoughts as I type, and pray that things take a turn for the better.

 

 
But our outstanding Employee Appreciation Day is around the corner. Its my favorite day of the fiscal year. They pay us to leave the office, play games outside, and eat great food. YIPPEE!

 

 

 

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…ummm, damn, that’s all I got, lol. Yall don’t have as many names as Detroit.

OH, speaking of Detroit–

 

So, I totally forgot to include Raheem Devaughn and Dr. Ian Smith in my highlights for Detroit. Oops! You can view them now if you click the link.

 

Anyways……I was asked to go to Houston for a work assignment. It sounded like a great opportunity, so I jumped at the chance. Ended up being a headache - my manager gave me half-ass information and left me hangin’. Being the strong, capable person that I am, I managed to pull it altogether and deliver in a major way. Yay me.

 
But the person who REALLY delivered and saved my trip was Tex in the City. She was the ULTIMATE host, and gave me the best Houston experience one could ask for. Let me tell yall, if you wanna know about Houston…where ta go, what to do…Tex knows it ALL! We had some great food and some great times, and she is the main reason I’m going back. Tex is a sweetheart, and just a wonderful person to be around. She’s got the biggest heart!! (sometimes I think she’s just too good for me) Sorry, had a Sade moment, lol. But Tex is like my sister from another mother, and I can’t wait to visit again! There’s so much more fun to be had!

I think the most memorable ummm memory was going to the Saltgrass Steakhouse to eat dinner. Chile……when Tex mentioned that we were going to “Saltgrass”, I just knew she was taking me to some green, healthy, foliage-friendly place that serves wheatgrass appetizers, and sprout salad entrees. I’m thinkin, “I know I’m a vegetarian and all, but I don’t eat that shit. PLEASE don’t take me there!” Is it wrong that I was thrilled when I saw it was a Steakhouse? LOL

We were served by an adorable waiter (what was he, 22?) who was originally from Brooklyn, and was steadily gettin’ his flirt on wit ya girl. Tee hee.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I decided to let my eyes wander around the restaurant, as I hadn’t seen more than the waiter, and I looked up from the table to see a giant buffalo head looking down upon me as I ate my bread.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have Mercy.

Scared the shit outta me.

 
Then I turned around, and saw an equally large Longhorn watching over myself and Tex. I’d later learn that everything is large in Texas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Tex would say……

Welcome to Texas!

 

 

Ok, so let me tell you why I can’t live in Houston.

 

1. THE HEAT! Oh my goodness, it was SO DAMN HOT! I mean, it gets hot and humid in NY, but the heat in Houston was different. That mess was straight off the sun. Just blazin!

   And then to counteract the heat, every building and car has their A/C on FULL blast. So in a matter of seconds you go from 100 degrees, to 50 degrees. Damn, can I get 72? Do I hear 72??? I’m still a tropical person, ya know.

    
   Ok, this next one is two-fold. Its a gift and a curse.

2. The FOOD. OMG, there were SO many restaurants, drive-thru’s, and take-outs in Houston…and they weren’t all chains and commercial franchises. Lots of local cuisines to take part of as well. I mean LOTS! Just lined up and down the streets. Everywhere you turn. Yall don’t understand, there was an unlimited supply of edibles throughout the city. No one should be hungry in Houston. NO ONE!

   And the portions…THE PORTIONS!

   Let me tell yall, I like food, ok. I love to eat. I couldn’t tell you the last time I took a doggie bag home from a restaurant. I did it twice in 2 days while visiting Houston. I mean, they pile it ON!

    
   So, yeah, while I love food and love eating, I couldn’t live in Houston, because I’d be a straight heifer! Dear God.

    

3. The strip malls! Strip malls with eateries galore. Geez, I’ve never seen so many. Seriously! Shops, upon shops, upon shops, upon shops. And good ones too! Just readily available for all to enjoy. Too many opportunities to spend my money. How can one resist such temptation??

    

4. Man, Houston is so spread out! I think I’ve been in NYC too long. Everything is so close together here, I wasn’t used to all the traveling we had to do. Hmmm, I wonder if I could re-adjust to living in the Greater L.A. area? But at least the gas is cheaper in Houston - I saw it as low as $3.69!! Heavens!

    
   And the last reason I couldn’t live in Houston (besides it not being on a coast)…

5. It was brought to my attention that there are NO 7-Elevens in Houston. NONE!

   (I feel like singing a verse from An American Tail - “cuz there are noooo cats in America…”)

   *ahem*

   Anyway, the closest one is in Austin. I gotta drive to Austin for a slurpee? Yeah, not gonna work for me.

 

 

So all in all……Houston was cool (not literally), with some cool inhabitants. I see why people dig it. But erra ummm……

 

 

 

How yall expect me to beat the heat with NO SLURPEES???

 

 

 

5 comments

This has got to be the WORST season of Bridezillas, yet. And by worst, I mean……the most horrid looking weddings I’ve ever seen, considering the stress it took to get there, and the worst at-ti-tudes I’ve ever seen displayed in public.

 
The most horrific crimes……are these dresses. Namely, the bridesmaid’s dresses. Why don’t people make comfortable, sensible decisions when choosing 1) their bridesmaids, and 2) the dresses they’ll wear? Strapless dresses do NOT work for everyone. If you have full-figured bridesmaids, with large breasts and large backs……you might wanna choose a different style of dress. Backless dresses??? No boo-boo, not gonna fly with the side rolls up and down your maid of honor’s back. STOP IT!

 
That bootleg Houston wedding, where the bride’s dress was cut out on the sides, and extra ruffled or some shit. Tex’s friend said it best - it looked like the inside of a coffin. That was awful!
 
BRAS! Incredible inventions that prevent saggy boobs from falling out of a dress. USE ‘EM!

 
All this not being able to fit the dress?? That’s some bull. I mean how much time passes between the buying of the dress, and the wedding, that it doesn’t fit……AT ALL? Having to buy a new dress because you outgrew yours is NOT a good look.

(Did yall SEE the way that one girl ATE??? It was ridiculous…and so despicable considering the fact that she already couldn’t fit her dress, her wedding was days away, and her parents woulda had to seriously come out of pocket AGAIN due to her inconsiderate behavior. How wack!)

 
Ummm, this chick who wanted the grooms cake in the shape of a vagina??? I mean she was DEAD serious. Thank God her sister has sense, and forced her to choose a more sensible design. Even the cake lady was lookin at that broad crazy. A vagina??? At your wedding? I can’t…..I just can’t.

 

Dear God, where did they find these people???

 
Bitching out your soon-to-be husband over every.lil.thing??? Ummm, isn’t this the man you love and adore? I’d think you’d be a lil kinder to him. I’m amazed some of these women found men willing to commit to them for more than an hour, let alone a lifetime. But hey, it proves yet again that (many) men like that kinda thing.

I’ll be damned if I’m with a guy that I (feel I) have to direct, instruct, guide, teach, and order around like an idiot, and who irritates me to the point that I can’t stand for him to talk to me, look at me, touch me, and I can’t help but fly off the handle at him. Oh HELLS naw (reason why pseudo-boyfriend is on the outs). Who has the energy and desire for all that?

(That Dawn bitch, that’s who. The FAT bitch who was bitchin’ her finace’ out about losing weight and fitting into his suit. BITCH! Have you SEEN you??? Tryna teach him etiquette and shit, and she doesn’t even know how to behave or treat a human being like a PERSON and not a dog. I’ve yet to hear her say something positive about her man or TO her man. She just complains rudely and obnoxiously about everything he does and every move he makes. That bitch has nerve. Ok, I probably shouldn’t use the word bitch so many times in so few sentences about a person…a woman…I don’t even know. But there is NO other word to describe that chick. She’s a straight BITCH!

Her and that psycho Italian woman, with the horrible blond dye job, who remarried her ex-husband. He’s a DUMBASS for that one. Did yall see her act a straight FOOL in the travel agency when she wanted the $9000 plane tickets - EACH! - to wherever their honeymoon was, and then in the restaurant when she didn’t like the wedding band he gave her so she caused a scene and stormed out the building, and then at the rehearsal dinner when she got whiny and loud cuz they brought out a cake for someone else’s birthday? (Ok, I kinda felt her on that one…it wasn’t exactly the time and place for someone else’s birthday celebration…but dammit, act like a grown-up and deal with that shit later and with some maturity) She is a spoiled BITCH and they’ll be in divorce court YET again.)

 
OH! Its enough to make me wanna spit! I will SO pass on that whole “wedding” thing, if thats what happens when you plan it; you disrespect and disregard the very person you’re committing your life to, alienate your friends and family (and vice versa) all for the sake of……an “event”???

 
All this selfishness and spoiledness……me me me and my my my.

 

BITCH!

 
WHO IS YOU?

 
With your tacky ass wedding. Oh, I can’t stand it!

 
Is it really necessary? Is it really worth it?

 

Have Mercy.

 

 

And some of these “younger” women (21, 22, 23) look old as hell!

 

 

Ok, I’m done.

 

 

 

5 comments

 
(or whatever you wanna call it)

 

Highlights:

• Seeing my best friend.

• Handling the business of my organization (that consisted of both pleasure and pain)
• Meeting one of my best guy friends (I’ve known him for 5 years, but we’d never met)
• Greektown! Namely the casino. CHEAP/STRONG drinks……my favorite combo.
• Motown!……GREAT museum. I think we spent about 2 hrs in Hitsville, USA - just taking it all in. Thinking about all the great talent and music that was birthed in that very location……it was surreal to say the least. Definitely worth the visit, and one of the highlights of my trip.
   

• I also visited the Charles H. Wright African-American Museum (largest African-American Museum in the world). Beautiful museum. I could’ve spent hours in there, reading every piece of literature that was present. The section on slavery was the most compelling. Every Black person in America needs to see that exhibit. As many times as I hear the stories and read the tales……it never gets old and never ceases to amaze me just…how…unreal that time in our history was. But the museum makes it a VERY real experience for all who visit.

  My only criticism of the museum, was that in the later years, it focused more heavily on Detroit, and by the time I went to the museum, I had had enough of Detroit. But its inspired me to get off my ass and go see the African-American museum here in NY, and learn Black history in the city I reside in. (its a crime that I never went to the one in LA……and I lived down the street from it for YEARS…passed by it numerous times…never took my ass in *smh*)

   

• ETA: Raheem DeVaughn performance (that man is truly gifted and a joy to watch)

   

• ETA: Dr. Ian Smith’s presentation on the state of health in the Black community. Very informative, very encouraging, very inspiring, very thought-provoking. That man is on a mission to improve our quality and longevity of life, and I do believe he will succeed.

   

   

  (see, it wasn’t all negative)

   
  *ahem*

   
  And now for the……

   

  Lowlights:

  Let’s start at the very beginning……a very good place to start.

   

• The Airport…(can I even call it that?). It looked like the first airport ever. No upgrades since it opened - oh, except for the snazzy new vending machines that accept credit cards. We see where their priority lies. As Andrea so eloquently put it……the airport looked like a bus station. NOT impressed.

   

• Faygo. Anyone ever heard of it? Anyone?

  Yeah, its a drink. And a RED SODA DRINK at that (or do they call it pop?). But not strawberry, not red kool-aid……just a random red drink. With its own billboard…that they only make in Detroit. Sus-pect. (and what kinda name is that for a drink?)

   

• The demographic. *sigh* Detroit is like a wannabe urban city, but its filled with country folks who aren’t slickers. Nearly everyone there migrated from the South, and its like they never figured out how to de-countrify themselves, even though they’re supposed to be in this urban metropolis. Just con-fused!

  And they can’t dress. AT ALL! I don’t know how many fashion crimes were committed in my short time there, and yall know I ain’t no where near being a fashion guru. But some stuff should go without saying. Style is not a word that should be used anywhere near Detroit. I think it all left with Motown in the 70’s, and folks been messed up ever since. (Pictures would be MUCH more helpful, I know)

   

• The “social scene”. We got a brief glimpse of the “happenin” social scene in downtown Detroit, as we attempted to enter a club/bar/lounge near our hotel. They were charging $20 to get in, and from what I saw at the door (the folks waiting to get in)……please. Low-budget, at best. Sho wasn’t payin’ to mix and mingle with more of that. And from what I saw through the window (folks grinding on the walls to “Funky Y2C” - yeah, yall remember that song)…uh huh, I was extra cool. (what respectable DJ actually has that song in his library? And PLAYS it? And in MOTOWN? For shame!)

   

• The questionable conversation my best friend and I had with 3 local Detroit brothers (actual related brothers), originally from North Carolina. One was married (and tryna hit), one was divorced (and on lithium), one was a pimp (who thought he could sleep with us within 3 days). They were age 35 and up.

  For real??? 0 for 3.

   

• The Middle America syndrome. I can’t explain it, but there’s something off/wrong/ill about not living near a coast. And by near I mean…right up ON it!

  I felt like I was trapped, caged, enclosed in a box, or a time-warp or something. I felt restricted and detached from the rest of the world. I think living in those conditions distorts and limits the minds of its inhabitants, and thats why so many break for the edges. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again……I needs to live on a COAST. I need an ocean, a large body of water within my view so I can visually expand my horizons, and see past the remote world I know.

   

   

   

   
  And the number one reason I’m not going back to Detroit……

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  ……that bum-ass MAYOR!

  

   

   

  Hi-YA!

   
  (thats me kicking Kwame’s face on the side of the Detroit People Mover)

   

   

   

   

  Oh snap, I forgot about the DPM! Well, not much to say about it. Its a $.50 ride to get you around downtown Detroit. It was cool, cuz it took us to GREEKTOWN!

   

   

   

   

   

  
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