That’s the term I use to describe a woman who tends to save a man from his circumstance.

 
Ladies, do you find that in your relationship(s), you are constantly helping/pushing/inspiring a man to do better in areas where he may have been otherwise unconcerned or stifled?

“Better” could mean going back to school, stopping his philandering ways, expanding his wardrobe (to more than jeans and a white tee), etc.

How does it make you feel to be that person in your man’s life? Is it your pleasure or is it a burden?

 
How willing are these men to be saved? Is it their pleasure? Or do they feel burdened by your gentle, yet ever present, encouragement?

 
Do you notice that you tend to gravitate towards these “fixer-uppers” (or vice versa)? If so, why might that be? Do you prefer it? Is there some benefit or advantage to polishing up a man as opposed to having him ready-made? Like……tailoring him to suit your needs? Customizing?

Then that begs the questions……if you have to change him, even a little bit, was he really FOR you in the first place?

Or are you genuinely trying to improve his quality of life (for his benefit) and help him open doors that he didn’t know he had the key to?

 
What about when that man leaves, and now some other woman is reaping the benefits of your labor? Any regrets?

Men……what say ye?

DAYUM!

 
Easy Jazmine……eeeeasy……

I get chills everytime I hear this song.

Her voice……whew. It captures the very essence of love and pain.

(not to mention, the joint is just HOT)

Real talk ladies……who’s been there before?

Who’s there NOW???

Hmmm, maybe you shouldn’t incriminate yourselves.

I have yet to (seriously) attack someones property for being an ass to me. But MAN! If I could do it and get away with it……and if I didn’t think it would come back on me……

Wooo CHILE!

Now……I don’t condone such actions……

……But I DO understand.

*sing along*   “I bust the windows out your caaarrrr……”

 
I mean the absolute worst. You could be perfectly fine, and the mere mention of their being turns you into a wise-cracking BEAST.

I’m talkin’ about the kind of person where you can’t find anything positive or pleasant to say to them or about them.

NOT.ONE.THING.

 
And while I can crack jokes with the best of ‘em (please believe it!)……I really don’t like ragging on people. It doesn’t do me any good, and its a negative energy that I don’t want running through me or surrounding me.

Fuckin’ up my ch’i.

 
For this reason, I tend to place such people outside of my life. I completely disconnect myself from these people at all costs. Whatever the sacrifice…its worth it for peace in my spirit. And ultimately……I’m doing them a favor as well……saving them from the wrath of B. Good (see, still thinking of others while thinking of myself; I’m not a total ass, lol).

 
But what do you do when that person is still apart of a circle that you are apart of? Do you separate yourself from the circle? Do you kick them out the circle? Do whichever’s easiest? Or do you just learn to co-exist?

Does the circle get a say in the matter? Should they get a vote on who stays and who goes? (kinda like on Big Brother, lol)

 
Has anyone had to deal with someone who literally made your skin crawl as you watched the horns grow out the sides of their head?
 

(ok, maybe that was a bit extreme)

 
But yall figgadeal me.

 
So I got this pseudo BF. In my eyes, we’re “dating”. In his eyes, we’re married with kids.

He’s really sweet and he means well, but……

……there’s always a “but”, huh?

 
Ionknow. I’m just hestitant/scared/afraid/fearful/unsure about solidifying anything with him (or anyone for that matter). I just don’t trust nobody. And I don’t wanna have to kill nobody, so I’m keepin’ everyone’s safety and freedom in mind.

 
But I really enjoy him and his company (when he’s not annoying the shit outta me). He’s truly a sweetheart and has been someone I can count on (for the most part). That’s all that should matter for the time being, ain’t it?

 
Still, I don’t trust it. He’s still a male. He’s still capable of doing some treacherous shit and blaming it on “his nature”.

You know that’s where guys go first. “I’m a man, I need it. I’m a man, I have to do it. I’m a man, I can’t control it.” Yeah, whatever.

But when I’m away from him for an extended period of time……I notice. And I don’t think of his annoying, childish, juvenile, male ways……instead, I think about his generosity and eagerness to please me and be near me (which is another thing that can work my nerves, lol, but I’m realizing that its a positive annoyance and I’m trying to adjust). Sometimes I feel bad about giving him the cold shoulder, or sending a harsh word his way. He’s such a softy when it comes to me.

And at the same time, I swear sometimes I think I’m dating a 5 year old, and yall know I don’t do kids!

He can drive a sista UP a wall.

 
Have mercy, how did I end up here? This has to be some mission from God.

 
Anyways, I’ve been invited to this party tonight. I was gonna invite him to go with me, but I don’t know…

1. There’s gonna be other guys there. Guys that I’m friends with, and who’ll wanna talk to me.
    

2. Homie’s kinda sensitive to that sorta thing, and I don’t know if he’d take it well or have a good time.
    

3. Knowing this about homie, should I still roll dolo to the party? (I haven’t told him who will be in attendance)
    

4. I don’t even know if I feel like going (alone). I mean, the guys are cool and what not, but they’re on the younger side, which means the crowd is gonna be on the younger side, and……the last time I went, it was kinda whatever. I felt like Ma dukes still tryna hang with the kiddies, back when just having liquor around meant the party was crackin. Nowadays……naw, not so much. For me its more about the company I keep. And I know these guys…but I don’t feel I know ‘em enough to go party without backup.

 
Eh, we’ll see. But I think I’ve just decided not to take homie if I do go.

 
I’ll keep ya posted. Oh, and we’re going to the Bronx Zoo on Sunday! YAAAYYYY!!! Yall just don’t know how excited I am. OH, and we went to Coney Island a few weekends ago. SO fun.

That’s another thing I like about him. He likes to go do stuff with me. Pretty much whatever I throw out there, he’ll jump on it.

Teehee!

What’s a girl to do???

 
Since getting back from my traveling time A-WAAAAYYY from the job, I haven’t been able to get back into the swing of things. I think I enjoyed the idea of traveling, visiting other offices, and not sitting at a desk all day SO MUCH……that I hate coming back to my ball and chain.

I mean, I just CAN’T get with it.

I’ve been bullshittin all week. And its not like there isn’t stuff for me to do. I got projects (if I can even call ‘em that) awaiting my attention, and I’m just not feelin’ it. At all.

 
My director just told me today how tired I look (more like how BORED I look). I think I’m still crashing from all the adrenaline built up while touring the country, and not sitting in this office. And now that I’m back, I have no interest in contributing to the mundane, daily activity I was formerly doing.

*sigh*

Woe is me. I have a meeting in a couple weeks with my director and my manager about what I’m doing, what I like, what I dislike, and what I want to be doing. I’m collecting my thoughts as I type, and pray that things take a turn for the better.

 
But our outstanding Employee Appreciation Day is around the corner. Its my favorite day of the fiscal year. They pay us to leave the office, play games outside, and eat great food. YIPPEE!