This has got to be the WORST season of Bridezillas, yet. And by worst, I mean……the most horrid looking weddings I’ve ever seen, considering the stress it took to get there, and the worst at-ti-tudes I’ve ever seen displayed in public.

 
The most horrific crimes……are these dresses. Namely, the bridesmaid’s dresses. Why don’t people make comfortable, sensible decisions when choosing 1) their bridesmaids, and 2) the dresses they’ll wear? Strapless dresses do NOT work for everyone. If you have full-figured bridesmaids, with large breasts and large backs……you might wanna choose a different style of dress. Backless dresses??? No boo-boo, not gonna fly with the side rolls up and down your maid of honor’s back. STOP IT!

 
That bootleg Houston wedding, where the bride’s dress was cut out on the sides, and extra ruffled or some shit. Tex’s friend said it best - it looked like the inside of a coffin. That was awful!
 
BRAS! Incredible inventions that prevent saggy boobs from falling out of a dress. USE ‘EM!

 
All this not being able to fit the dress?? That’s some bull. I mean how much time passes between the buying of the dress, and the wedding, that it doesn’t fit……AT ALL? Having to buy a new dress because you outgrew yours is NOT a good look.

(Did yall SEE the way that one girl ATE??? It was ridiculous…and so despicable considering the fact that she already couldn’t fit her dress, her wedding was days away, and her parents woulda had to seriously come out of pocket AGAIN due to her inconsiderate behavior. How wack!)

 
Ummm, this chick who wanted the grooms cake in the shape of a vagina??? I mean she was DEAD serious. Thank God her sister has sense, and forced her to choose a more sensible design. Even the cake lady was lookin at that broad crazy. A vagina??? At your wedding? I can’t…..I just can’t.

Dear God, where did they find these people???

 
Bitching out your soon-to-be husband over every.lil.thing??? Ummm, isn’t this the man you love and adore? I’d think you’d be a lil kinder to him. I’m amazed some of these women found men willing to commit to them for more than an hour, let alone a lifetime. But hey, it proves yet again that (many) men like that kinda thing.

I’ll be damned if I’m with a guy that I (feel I) have to direct, instruct, guide, teach, and order around like an idiot, and who irritates me to the point that I can’t stand for him to talk to me, look at me, touch me, and I can’t help but fly off the handle at him. Oh HELLS naw (reason why pseudo-boyfriend is on the outs). Who has the energy and desire for all that?

(That Dawn bitch, that’s who. The FAT bitch who was bitchin’ her finace’ out about losing weight and fitting into his suit. BITCH! Have you SEEN you??? Tryna teach him etiquette and shit, and she doesn’t even know how to behave or treat a human being like a PERSON and not a dog. I’ve yet to hear her say something positive about her man or TO her man. She just complains rudely and obnoxiously about everything he does and every move he makes. That bitch has nerve. Ok, I probably shouldn’t use the word bitch so many times in so few sentences about a person…a woman…I don’t even know. But there is NO other word to describe that chick. She’s a straight BITCH!

Her and that psycho Italian woman, with the horrible blond dye job, who remarried her ex-husband. He’s a DUMBASS for that one. Did yall see her act a straight FOOL in the travel agency when she wanted the $9000 plane tickets - EACH! - to wherever their honeymoon was, and then in the restaurant when she didn’t like the wedding band he gave her so she caused a scene and stormed out the building, and then at the rehearsal dinner when she got whiny and loud cuz they brought out a cake for someone else’s birthday? (Ok, I kinda felt her on that one…it wasn’t exactly the time and place for someone else’s birthday celebration…but dammit, act like a grown-up and deal with that shit later and with some maturity) She is a spoiled BITCH and they’ll be in divorce court YET again.)

 
OH! Its enough to make me wanna spit! I will SO pass on that whole “wedding” thing, if thats what happens when you plan it; you disrespect and disregard the very person you’re committing your life to, alienate your friends and family (and vice versa) all for the sake of……an “event”???

 
All this selfishness and spoiledness……me me me and my my my.

BITCH!

 
WHO IS YOU?

 
With your tacky ass wedding. Oh, I can’t stand it!

 
Is it really necessary? Is it really worth it?

Have Mercy.

And some of these “younger” women (21, 22, 23) look old as hell!

 

 

Ok, I’m done.

***Oops! Forgot to turn on the comments. If you have one, feel free to add it!***

……another one bites the dust.

 
So I just found out that this guy I had a SUPER duper crush on is married.

 
***cue Jill Scott***

 
I think I’m ok with it. I mean, we were never more than friends, and we’ve lived on opposite sides of the country since we’ve known each other. But wow. Nothing like marriage to seal the deal on that “what if” question.

Hey Abi…

…didn’t you JUST write a post on this??? Life is surely imitating art.

So I wished him well…and I definitely meant it. I can’t say that I feel like I’m losing a friend, because there’s always been distance between us. But I’m wondering what he did between the time we met until now that was SO different then what I did, as I’m in the same place (romantically) that I was when I met him; and now he’s off in wedded bliss.

 
My love life is SO juvenile. I’ve never had a boyfriend. Nope, not ever, never. I’ve just been casually fucking/dating…whatever you wanna call it…since I was 18. I’m 26 now. The hell am I doing?

 
Not that its been a miserable 8 years or anything. I’ve definitely had some good times and great experiences. But this whole “meeting new people” and “adjusting to a new person” thing is OLD. And anyone who knows me knows that I don’t do the whole “meeting new people” and “adjusting to a new person” thing too well. I’d rather just be alone (but I guess not really, hence the reason for this post). I’m just sayin’, can I be happily entertained by one person already, so I don’t have to keep going out there and feeling my way around in the dark?

 
I always said that my first boyfriend will probably be my last. I’ve never been big on having a man for the sake of having one (clearly). It’s not that I couldn’t have had a boyfriend…I just never felt anyone was worth the title. Why I felt they were worth my sweat and body…I don’t know. Just dumb, I guess. Or maybe “uninformed” is a better word.

 
And I still don’t want a man just so I can say I have one (or have had one). But damn, I haven’t met ONE person that even came close. Well, maybe almost one, but it still wasn’t (isn’t) quite right.

 
Blah, I’m just retarded. As in “slow or limited in emotional development”.

 
And I can’t tell you why. It just seems like everyone is advancing except me.

 
I just told someone yesterday that I didn’t wanna get married. And I don’t, unless I finally decide that I do wanna have kids……yeah, fat chance of THAT happening. I don’t know if I’m the marrying kind. I don’t even know if I’m the long-term dating kind, so marriage is WAAAAYYYY off my radar.

 
I guess you never know, until you know.

 
Anyways, Congrats D-dub. I hope its all you dreamed of and more.

is the skrippa pole.

So I guess there’s this phenomenon with installing a stripper pole in one’s bedroom. I mean, I saw it on Big Boi’s (from Outkast) MTV Cribs!……but I thought that was just something that people with too much money on there hands and too much space in their bedroom did.
 

Apparently, not.

Everyday folk are installing poles in their homes left and right. The thought never crossed my mind (not seriously anyway). But there’s a catch……
 
……women will install a pole and dance for their husband, but they won’t dance for any ol’ body. I mean, I guess we gotta save SOMETHIN’ for the hubby.

Add pole-dancing to the list, right under anal sex.

• How would you feel if the person you were dating had a stripper pole installed in their bedroom?
   

• Is that preposterous?
   

• Would you get on it?
   

• Is the stripper pole sacred??

B. Good thinks:

 
Pole dancing is an art. One that I’m ok being unfamiliar with.

Hubby will have to get over that (probably another reason I’m husband repellant).

Stripping in general shoulda been saved for hubby. Eh well.
The pole, however, is not sacred.

Stripper pole in the bedroom……not a good look. Married or otherwise.

Do men dance on poles too?
I’m all for equality or whatever, but ummm……let’s hope not.

When your ex gets married.

EDIT: The former lover who for whatever reason didn’t work out at the time, but……ya know. Yall still cool. Ever felt some kinda way about it? I mean, not that you were planning on getting back with them……but, would them getting married affect you in one way or another?

 
I can think of 2 names that would definitely make my stomach drop if I found out they were getting married. Is it because I still like them or want them? No, not necessarily. But something about the option being taken away……it would make me tilt my head to side a bit.

I wonder if it would affect you less if you’re in a committed relationship of your own. Probably, because that right there takes away the option of you being with anyone else (in theory).

 
When my friend first brought up feeling this way about an ex, I figured she was trippin and probably just had the marriage itch (she’s single too). But when I thought about my own experiences, I realized that she wasn’t alone. I’d definitely feel funny if money turned up married, engaged, or even seriously dating someone else. Especially without discussing it with me first.

Oooooo, maybe thats it. Having not totally ruled each other out as potential partners……it would certainly catch me off guard if I find out he’s committing to someone else. Cuz that would mean he decided to rule me out, rule US out, and didn’t even consult me about it.

Oh yeah, that would rub me the wrong way, fa sho. Call it what you wanna call it.

 

affected.

Whew. A lil too much opinionated honesty comin’ out on this one.

 

 

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Well, I went to that holiday party. Stayed about an hour or so, then bounced. It wasn’t really a “sit at the bar” kind of atmosphere, as there were people lined up tryna get a drink ALL night.* So that was a no go. I stood around at these tables for awhile, but I was pretty bored. One guy did talk to me while I was gettin a drink, but it was nothin’ like the convo I had predicted. He said, “Oh, you like Bombay Sapphire?” Umm, no, I just like ordering it. “Yeah, I’m a Bombay drinker myself.” Thats great.

This whole event/party/socializing/networking/drinking/talking thing is over my head. I’d rather be at somebody’s home. Which led me to the thought that I need to start working off of referrals. I need someone to hook me up. Problem is, I need a referral just to get the referral.

I was watching MTV’s True Life - “I’m in an Arranged Marriage”, and started thinking that maybe thats not such a bad idea. Two people coming together for the sake of marriage and family, who are determined to make it work because thats what they value. The more I thought about it, the more comfortable I got with the idea.

I was also watching Animal Planet all weekend and took notice of the way that animals live. Their purpose in life seems so simple and attainable. They merely do the things that God created them to do. Eat, sleep, make babies, raise them to survive on their own, wash, rinse, repeat. I started thinking about what God created me to do. Then I remembered that I hadn’t picked up my Purpose Driven Life book in awhile, so I got back into it.

It helped me to realize that the seemingly lonesome path that I’m on is exactly where I’m supposed to be (and need to be). If nothing else, my life is simple these days, especially with school winding down (Thank Ya Jeeesus!). I have no one, absolutely NO ONE, to worry about, answer to, or take care of, but me and God. I have little to no distraction keeping me from my purpose. His purpose. Truth be told, the only thing that can get in my way now……is me.

My life, my purpose, is positioned to be simple and attainable. And if marriage & family is on the menu, I think I’ll wait for my Father to arrange it.

 

 

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.

* ok, what’s with the thirsty ass people fightin’ to get a drink at the bar?? NAMELY, some thirsty ass dudes who will push a woman to the side so they can get their drink. Its SO not that serious. I can either wait my turn, or just back away from the bar. I couldn’t believe the way grown folx were actin just to get some liquor. There were only 3 bartenders and fiddy-leven of us. Just wait your damn turn!

 

 

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