Oh how I love it when T.I. tells me I can have whatever I liiiiike. Makes me feel all warm & tingly inside. Comforts me like a big, plush blankee.

“You want it, I got it, go get it, I buy it”

Mmmmmm, thank you T.I.!

But uhhh……what I gotta do for it?

 
Yall know nigros ain’t given nothin’ out for free. Only women are foolish enough do that.

Women and Shaq.

And Kobe.

 
My second set of school loans just kicked in. Glad I got all that traveling out the way, cuz I’ll be on lock down from now until further notice.

 
I even gotta downgrade my cable and cell phone services. *sigh* I guess I didn’t really need the We channel, Animal Planet, Showtime/HBO (I interchange depending on which shows are airing), and all those Music Channels.

But I’ll still have ESPN, MTV, Bravo, Lifetime, and my HD stations, so……I guess I’ll survive. I can’t downgrade further than that tho. Basic Cable??? Eck! Standard is bad enough.

So that means I gotta watch all I can by tomorrow. And my DVR is 92% full. I have a busy night ahead of me.

 
I’m secretly back on Weight Watchers. I’ll let yall know when I drop 20 lbs. If you don’t hear from me by Christmas……just wait longer.
 

 
I bought a treadmill. Damn thing tried to kill me when the weight loss program decided I needed to run. Bastard. But I ain’t no punk. I’m hangin’ tough. Though I just got my hair did, so I might not be runnin’ quite as hard as before (I know Dr. Ian said that I need to get over that hair excuse, but dammit, he doesn’t have to deal wit it or pay for it! - Lord knows I wish he DID tho!!!).

So the pseudo and I had a big fight, and I finally drove it home that I don’t wanna be his boo. Non-romantic acquaintances……perhaps. But I’m not ready, able, or willing to participate in the full on partnership that he wants.

My 10 day vaycay was right on time. We (I) definitely needed the time apart.

I saw him yesterday. He asked me if I still felt the same as I did before I left. I told him yes, but that lil sneak went and got his hair cut, lined up his beard, got some new jeans, and did some push-ups or somethin. He was lookin MY-T-FINE! He knew what he was doin’.

But I’m still not entering the partnership.

He’ll be back today.

 
I went and acquired some new music today.

 
That’s the term I use to describe a woman who tends to save a man from his circumstance.

 
Ladies, do you find that in your relationship(s), you are constantly helping/pushing/inspiring a man to do better in areas where he may have been otherwise unconcerned or stifled?

“Better” could mean going back to school, stopping his philandering ways, expanding his wardrobe (to more than jeans and a white tee), etc.

How does it make you feel to be that person in your man’s life? Is it your pleasure or is it a burden?

 
How willing are these men to be saved? Is it their pleasure? Or do they feel burdened by your gentle, yet ever present, encouragement?

 
Do you notice that you tend to gravitate towards these “fixer-uppers” (or vice versa)? If so, why might that be? Do you prefer it? Is there some benefit or advantage to polishing up a man as opposed to having him ready-made? Like……tailoring him to suit your needs? Customizing?

Then that begs the questions……if you have to change him, even a little bit, was he really FOR you in the first place?

Or are you genuinely trying to improve his quality of life (for his benefit) and help him open doors that he didn’t know he had the key to?

 
What about when that man leaves, and now some other woman is reaping the benefits of your labor? Any regrets?

Men……what say ye?

DAYUM!

 
Easy Jazmine……eeeeasy……

I get chills everytime I hear this song.

Her voice……whew. It captures the very essence of love and pain.

(not to mention, the joint is just HOT)

Real talk ladies……who’s been there before?

Who’s there NOW???

Hmmm, maybe you shouldn’t incriminate yourselves.

I have yet to (seriously) attack someones property for being an ass to me. But MAN! If I could do it and get away with it……and if I didn’t think it would come back on me……

Wooo CHILE!

Now……I don’t condone such actions……

……But I DO understand.

*sing along*   “I bust the windows out your caaarrrr……”

Totally.

 
Down to the silly jokes Steve would tell, and how much it would irritate Miranda. To how Miranda would play the relationship off as casual and “whatever”, and Steve was openly and shamelessly in love with her. Almost like the more she fought against it, the more he loved her.

 
Ack.

 
I had a series of random dreams last night (Tommy Davidson showed up, ok! It doesn’t get more random than that, lol. And I couldn’t remember for the life of me what skits he did on In Living Color.)

……but anyway…sorry for the tangent……

 
at some point in the dreams, these words were spoken to me–

The one you always wanted to be with and the one you don’t want to be without. Merge the two together and that’s how you find “the one”.

 
I can’t remember the context in which the words were spoken, but they stuck in my head as I woke up. Trippy, eh?

 
I don’t know who this guy is to me now or who he might be to me later, but I know I picked a HUGE fight with him, and am in the process of pushing him (among others) away.

 
I feel this incredible urge to be left alone, and I’m counting down the days till I see my Mommy, Nana, and Papa (and of course the pets).

 
I don’t know if its hormonal or mental (oh the joys of being a woman). They say hurt people, hurt people. He hurt my feelings, so I hurt his (and probably then some). Thats me…forever on the OFFensive. But I’m over being hurt (for no reason) by someone who I’ve been kind to, over something ridiculous.

 
It doesn’t pay to be nice.

 
I don’t know where I was going with this. Miranda and Steve? — an unlikely pair, but a pair nonetheless. I guess I’m just conflicted and upset.

I need my Mum.

*for those who have NO clue who Miranda and Steve are……CLICK*