ShesOpinionated.com

 
I’m startin to wonder if I should get on board with this Twitter phenomenon. I know I’m extra late, but it seems a lot easier to keep that up to date than it is by making blog posts.

 
Anyways, I just saw the Southwest Airlines commercial, where they tell the guy that his luggage is free, and the folks in the airport break into song, and some woman is in the background freakin that “Haaalllelujah”. LOL, it cracks me up EVERY time.

 
I notice that every time I’m in the bathroom at work, and I finish doin’ what I gotta do, the “automatic” air freshener always goes off. I know its supposed to be on a timer and err’thang, but uhhh, why it always gotta go off when I get through, hmmm?

 
Its not that I don’t wanna go out. Its just that I can’t afford to. Maybe next month.

 
GO TROJANS! So, I’m into football and err’thang, but if I can’t watch USC play……what’s the point? They are forever showing me these damn Notre Dame games (like I give a damn) just because I’m on the east coast. I need ESPN Gameplan in my life.

And I need Lisa Salter’s job. I shoulda went that way 9 yrs ago.

 
If they keep it up, the folks at work are about to see the ugly side of B. Good.

 
Its about to be Sunday. Great.

 
Halloween……plans? Do people still make plans for Halloween? It would’ve totally slipped by me (and probably still will) if someone hadn’t mentioned their costume today. I might buy a bag of candy and hand it out to myself.

 
I wonder how much longer I’ll stay in NY. I wonder how much longer I’ll stay at my job. I’m half-way to being fully vested in my 401(k). That’s the farthest I’ve gone with an employer. Can I hold out? Should I hold out? I probably should. I’m thinkin’ I will. But it won’t be doin’ the same thing I’m doin now, that’s for sure.

See all of that would be way cooler in Twitter, huh?

Naw, it still woulda been lame, lol.

 
He’d rather stay and deal with the BS, just to have someone to love, regardless of who that someone is, so that he isn’t alone.

 
She’s the total opposite. She’d rather be alone before she stayed in some mess, just to have someone to love.

Why would someone be that desirous for love?

 
Surely there must be a reason why a person would rather take something, anything, that resembles love and affection, than to be left with nothing.

There is.

 
And she learned that she is not without compassion, but she lacks the ability to appropriately display that emotion.

 
She believes that this is her mission, sent from above.

Oh how I love it when T.I. tells me I can have whatever I liiiiike. Makes me feel all warm & tingly inside. Comforts me like a big, plush blankee.

“You want it, I got it, go get it, I buy it”

Mmmmmm, thank you T.I.!

But uhhh……what I gotta do for it?

 
Yall know nigros ain’t given nothin’ out for free. Only women are foolish enough do that.

Women and Shaq.

And Kobe.

From the other day:

It’s tough to balance your checkbook with your desire to have things these days. Everywhere you turn, there’s another temptation, but you just cannot afford to feed your material needs if they are a bottomless pit and not based on basic survival. Changing your relationship with your possessions may be in order. It’s really not about having more; it’s about teaching yourself to want less.

 
Wow, cuz I’ve been on a shopping mission lately. But I actually DO need these clothing items, since I have this big conference coming up and absolutely NO appropriate business attire.

But I could stand to learn a lesson or two about wanting less.

–random subject change–

So I had met this guy right (Black guy), and we’ve been texting back and forth. Real friendly like. Nothing major. The other day, I was in the car with a female friend of mine, and I was chatting with him on the phone. It was raining like crazy, and we were debating on whether it was worth tryna get to this bbq or not. So he hears my girl in the background and he asks, “is she cute?” Ummm duh! I don’t roll with non-cute people. Then he asks, “is she black?” Well yeah, she is.

He says, “Man, I ain’t messed with the sistas in a minute.”

Pardon?

“Yeah, its mostly been White girls or Spanish girls.”

Re-he-heally? Was that on purpose or just how its gone so far?

“Well, sistas got so much attitude, and……”

Oh word? Well you know, I have a pretty strong personality myself. [since he asked me for my number and all]

“Yeah, but you’re different–”

I stopped listening right about here.

 
This is not the first time I’ve had this conversation. Guys who’ve been heavily entranced by those of the non-black persuasion always perceive me as being “different” from those other Black girls.

 
But am I really?

 
Its probably because I haven’t been pissed off just yet.

I could certainly be like those other girls if you say/do whatever ignorant shit it was that lead to them layin’ major attitude on you. (hmmm, seems like thats what was happening at the moment)

 
Now some (Black) girls don’t need a reason to go off……and they irritate me too. But ummm, not enough to limit myself to only White friends or Spanish friends. What kinda??

 
So yeah, aside from the fact that he was asking me about my friend (wtf was that about?), I could never take this dude seriously.

 
Though I did let him treat me to a movie. (Then again, it was some silly shit he wanted to see……that Zohan movie……it was aight. Better than I thought it would be. I actually laughed a few times.)

 
I don’t usually go out with guys who make it known that they have a limited scope on what it is to interact with a Black woman, or those whose scope purposely excludes Black women for whatever reason. I’m not tryna be someone’s trial run.

 
So I kept watching dude’s body language to see how he’d respond to being in the company of a “sista” (since it had been so long). It was like hanging out with my goofy lil brother……but I don’t think it had anything to do with me. I think thats just his personality.

Eh, thats cool. He was definitely entertaining, and at least I don’t have to guard my draws around him. He’d make a good hangout partner now and again.

 
But I can’t help but wonder…what is it about me that makes me a suitable gateway (back) into Black?

I just woke up from a pretty disturbing dream.

 

I dreamt that other people were having sex down the hall from me, and all I could do was sit in another room, isolated, and listen.

How am I gon dream about other people having sex, and I’m just a lowly bystander? That’s a fucked up sex dream.

And I’m a lil confused about how I feel about it. I’m caught between my lack of desire to have sex (even with myself) and the hurt/envy that others are happily & carnally engaged.

I’ve never really been a sexual person. Sex has never been a big deal for me; probably because I rarely get it how I want it. Not necessarily performance wise, but rather with steady frequency and commitment.

And now its like, unless I’m crazy into him, and he’s crazy into me, and we’re solely focused on having sex with only each other, I don’t want anyone coming near me. At all.

I realize this has been amplified by the horrid image of him having sex with her, often, repeatedly, over and over again; meanwhile I’m off to the side somewhere, completely forgotten about.

 
Fuckin’ sucks.

 
And now I’m scared to go to sleep again.

 

 

 

This is SHESOPINIONATED.com,
and everyone is entitled to my opinion.